Busy People Told To ‘Stop Looking Busy’! ‘Busy’ people have come under attack for ‘acting busy’ according to Sly News. The agenda driven news channel that broadcasts from Bisley Town has reported that people who are ‘less busy’ are made to feel like ‘second class citizens’ by those walking around in suits looking like they have a lot to do and it’s offensive. Features of the ‘busy looking person’ include ‘walking fast with your arms slightly out as if you’re about to tackle someone’, ‘talking louder than needed on a mobile phone on a train’ and ‘walking along holding your ear as if your listening to something urgent through an ear-piece’. A spokesperson for the Independent Department for Living Effortlessly (IDLE) was said to have said, “We have nothing against people being busy but it’s the added ostentation of ‘looking busy’ that’s the problem. They seem to want to prove to everyone else that they’re busier and somehow more important which is, often, not the case but sometimes is. Surely, truly busy people wouldn’t have the time to ‘show off’”. When Illwell News called the IDLE landline they didn’t pick up the phone. It’s widely understood that there are some who feel greatly intimidated by the actions of busy individuals. We managed to find a worker in Christmas Street who defended the allegations, saying, “I think there are as many people offended by those showing off about how little they do. I saw a man on the bus the other day doing a crossword puzzle as if he’d got all the time in the world”. The organisation ‘We’ll Soon Sell Houses On Mars’, founded to drive the economy forward criticised IDLE for promoting laziness. “Business is busy and these good for nothing loafers want to bring down progress and create a nicer world. Well you can’t have both”, said Margaret, a leading politician in charge of the group. Illwell News is looking more deeply into the problem in a special programme to be aired whenever.