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Activists storm local shop.

Activists have stormed a local shop in a high class are of Bisley Town in protest against animal prints. The group calling themselves ‘Soldiers Protesting Openly Injurious Lowbred Traditions’ are said to be out-raged by the continued and obsessive ‘animal appropriation’ within the fashion industry.

Robert Junior III, son of a local multi-millionaire Robert Junior Junior and self-elected leader of SPOILT,  said, “People have to realise that this is 2019 and we should have evolved. It doesn’t matter if the industry isn’t using fur or animal products. Imitating an animal in any way, be it a ‘soft resemblance’ or a hard one, is the same as cultural appropriation among humans. It’s the same as racism”.

The group stood outside the shop on Saturday waving banners and handing out leaflets made of paper before the assembled in the Dog and Duck for drinks. The banners read, “Down with the Pantomime Horse”, “Tiger Woods, change your name or be ashamed” and “Don’t cross on a Zebra, you’ll make a Zebra cross”.

The group also stand against ‘image appropriation’ and object to people who dye their hair and have vanity body modifications. Robert Junior III was recently criticised ‘armed forces appropriation’ for wearing camouflaged trousers and subsequently walks around in a modified synthetic blanket.

The shop, at the centre of the storm didn’t want to be named but when asked if the daughter of the owner was involved in the protest, Illwell News was told “Yes”.