New Micropub opens!

A new Micropub has opened in Illwell Town. The Crooked Lean is said to be smaller than most Micropubs making it especially unroomy. A selection of local and guest ales and wines can be found in the confines of this Grade 7 listed building that was previously a toy shop and before then, a Butchers.

On the opening night we were treated to beers with such diverse names as Sinking Sensation and Canal IPA. The owner of The Crooked Lean, Michael Fist, said, “I hope to be extended the business and adding a Micro-Brewery. It would be great to have Illwell Ale on sale. At the moment, we have to stock from what’s available outside Illwell, like Bisley Bitter, but hopefully we’ll be able to improve on that in the future”.

Based on the more traditional of public houses, there is no generically upholstered furniture or massive slot machine. There are board games and odd shaped chairs and tables. Music is played through a tiny speaker. A chalkboard lists the beverages on offer which include ciders of every strength you can image. Prices are lower than the average Chain Pub such as Fairweather’s and there is such a variety to choose from. You can even take beer away in a bag!

There are problems that come with a tight venue as Mr. Fist explained. “We do have our problems. Space is one of them. We need to plan well when it comes to stock. There is also a problem with smelly customers in such a small space and, unfortunately, we have to say something for the greater good”.

When asked why Mr. Fist named the pub The Crooked Lean, he replied, “It was named after a novel I dreamt I’d read”.

Love at First Flight - Couple who met on plane to wed!

Two strangers who were accidentally seated next to each other on a flight, are to marry next year after falling in love.

“I know people will think we’re crazy after such a short flight, but neither of us were desperate – honest”.

Mark and Elaine were surprisingly sat next to each other on the flight to Ibiza. Mark joked, “It’s funny ain’t it. You spend all that time online scouring dating sites then, just by chance, you meet the woman of your dreams and fall in love in the first 8 seconds. It’s bonkers!” Elaine admits to falling for Mark quickly too but after about 8 Proseccos.

 Spluttr went nuts over the romantic story:

 “It’s just amazing. You never know what’s around the corner!”

 “It’s so good to hear some good news for a change”.

“Elaine’s a nice name”.

 The airline have now tabled plans for a ‘singles’ flight service to and from lonely places for those in search of love.

 The happy couple plan to marry next year and believe their relationship will be long and lasting. “If it’s not”, said Elaine, “I’m sure we’ll be able to split up as quickly”.